Raising a teenager these days can be hard to navigate – from the usual ups and downs of boundary testing and hormonal changes to academic demands and the desire for independence. But teens today are growing up in a completely different world, with an uncertain future and new challenges to face along the way.
Social media alone can be a constant source of stress, pressure, and comparison for many teens – one that you may not have dealt with in your own adolescence.
As a concerned parent, you’ve done everything in your power to protect your children from harm. But as they transition through their teen years toward adulthood, one of the best things you can do for them is teach resilience in the face of life’s new challenges.
Resilience is the key to your teenager building self-esteem, strengthening problem-solving skills, and knowing how to cope when they go through tough times.
The good news is that it’s a skill that can be learned and developed with your love, support, and guidance. And we’re here to help. In this post, we’ll show you how you can get your teens ready to tackle anything life throws at them.
What is resilience?
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from stressful situations. It’s about facing challenges and finding a way to move forward. It’s that inner strength that helps you keep going despite setbacks and adversity.
It’s a valuable skill for anyone, no matter your age, but especially for young people and teens. Adolescence is a time of constant change. From the pressure to do well in school, to figuring out new and old relationships, and an ever-evolving sense of identity, it’s not an easy time.
One day, your teen might seem unstoppable, and the next, they’re struggling to cope. If they’re getting caught up in problems, withdrawing, or turning to unhealthy ways of coping, it could be a sign they’re lacking this important skill.
Don’t be discouraged. With the right approach, you can help them build the resilience and confidence they need to handle difficult situations and come out stronger on the other side.
The 7 Cs of Resilience
This model was created by pediatrician Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg to provide a clear framework on how to nurture resilience in children and teens.
His research highlights how these 7 traits are essential for helping teens build emotional resilience and healthy coping strategies so they can be better prepared for when things don’t go to plan.
1. Competence
This is your teen’s belief in themselves and their ability to succeed. Encourage them to take on new challenges, learn new skills, and celebrate their wins – big or small. The more they succeed, the more competent they’ll feel in handling life’s challenges.
2. Confidence
Confidence grows when your teen starts seeing what they’re good at. Gently pushing them to step outside their comfort zone can show them they’re safe and capable, even in uncertain situations. Remind them that mistakes are part of the process and help them learn from setbacks rather than being afraid of them.
3. Connection
Having strong, healthy relationships is central to building resilience in young adults. Let your teen know that you’re here for them, and that it’s okay to lean on family and friends. When they know they have that social support, hard times feel a little less lonely and a lot more manageable.
4. Character
Developing resilience isn’t just about bouncing back – it’s about doing it the right way. Help your teen build a strong sense of who they are and what truly matters to them, and encourage them to make decisions based on their values, not just what’s easy.
5. Control
It’s important for your teenager to know what they can – and can’t – control. Teach them to focus on their own actions and choices, and to let go of things outside of their control. This can help them feel more grounded – and even empowered – when things get stressful.
6. Coping
Having healthy coping skills is fundamental for dealing with social or academic pressure and heavy emotions. Help your teenager find their own solutions and strategies that work for them – whether it’s journaling, being active, or just taking a deep breath when things get intense. The more tools they have, the better their mental resilience will be.
7. Contribution
Contribution is about helping your teen see how they can make the world a better place. Teaching teenagers how to contribute gives them a strong sense of purpose and meaning. Help them recognize the needs and feelings of others and emphasize the importance of treating people with kindness.
Knowing they have the power to help others will not only boost their own self-esteem, but it’ll make them more comfortable asking for help when they need it, too.
Other ways to create resilient teens
Here are a couple more tips to help boost your teen’s resilience:
Mindfulness
You’ve probably heard a lot about it over the last few years, but maybe you haven’t tried it yet, or aren’t quite sure what it’s all about. Mindfulness is simply about staying in the present moment and paying attention to what’s happening around you without judging it. You and your teenager can even practice it together to get a little extra quality time in.
An easy place to start is being mindful on a walk. Notice each step you take and how your body feels with each footstep. Pay attention to your senses as you walk – Do you hear birds? Can you smell the trees? Are you feeling drops of rain?
Take note of your breathing, and if your mind starts to wander (which it will!), that’s totally fine. Just gently bring your focus back to the present.
One of the best things about mindfulness is that you can do it anywhere, anytime. Just slow down, stay present, and you can turn anything into a mindful activity.
It’s a great way for your teen to manage stress and build resilience. It helps them stay grounded when things get overwhelming, allowing them to bounce back faster and handle problems with a clearer mind.
Speak to a professional
If you’ve tried these tips and your teen is still struggling, professional help can offer the support they need. A therapist or counselor can give them strategies for managing emotions, coping with stress, and building long-term resilience.
Mental health professionals create a safe space for teens to express themselves and work through whatever obstacles they’re facing.
Some parents may feel that getting professional means they’ve failed as a parent – far from it. It means you’re doing everything you can to make sure your teen grows up emotionally strong and well-equipped to face whatever life throws their way.
Support for you and your family
Raising a resilient teen takes patience, understanding, and sometimes, extra support. If you’re not sure where to turn, Western Tidewater Community Services Board (WTCSB) is here to lend a hand.
WTCSB provides comprehensive services, including mental health support, substance abuse treatment, and crisis services in Suffolk, Franklin, Southampton County, and Isle of Wight County.
With the support of our dedicated team, you can help your teen develop the emotional resilience they need to face life’s challenges with a sense of confidence.
Get in touch today or reach our 24-hour emergency line at (757) 925-2484 if you need immediate assistance.